Random Shorts
by Lily Angel of Chaos
Summary: A collection of random little oneshots that I come up with randomly. Some are very short. No pairings. Rated for silly suggestions and slightly perveted hints. If you squint.
1. Oiseau

_This is the first in my random oneshots. They are playing Mario Cart on the Wii._

Bakura was sat cross-legged on the floor, a Wii remote in his right hand and a Nunchuk in his left. His eyes flickered across the character selection screen.

"Bakura, what _are_ you doing?"

"Blowing up small kittens, what does it look like?" Bakura replied snarkily, his eyes never leaving the screen. Ryou simply rolled his eyes, sat down beside his yami, picked up the neglected steering wheel, and choose his own character.

"Princess Peach, eh? Heh, I always knew you were a girl at heart." Ryou glared (read: pouted), at his yami, who continued:"But I pick...Oiseau!"

"Oiseau?" Ryou looked oddly at Bakura, before checking the screen. "Oh, you mean Yoshi."

"No, he's Oiseau."

"...No yami. The name clearly says Yoshi."

"Yes, but he makes a noise that sounds like 'oiseau'."

"...Do you even know what oiseau means?"

"No. I got it from your head." Ryou giggled. "What?"

"Yami...oiseau is French for bird."

"...Oh."

_I really do this. I called him Oiseau without noticing that his name tag said Yoshi. Go figure. Review!_


	2. Mesa

_Umm...this one is really short. And Marik's hyper._

"!" A loud shout rang through the Ishtar household, making a certain hikari pale in fear...until he was knocked down by his rather hyper yami. "Mesa foooooouuuuuuuuunnnnnnnd yoouuuu!"

"Marik, get off me!"

"NOOOO! Now mesa found you, mesa never letting go!" In between his struggles to get away from his yami, Malik took some time to analyse his speech patterns. In other words, he noticed his yami saying something not normal.

"Wait, what the hell does mesa mean?"

"It means...mesa ish the best! And you are my snuggley hikari!"Marik nuzzled Malik's neck and purred. Malik let out a long, self-suffering sigh. This was going to be a long day.

_I really do this. I call myself mesa, which means me is/has...or even just me/I. Wrong grammar and everything, I sound five years old. It's funny. I do it online as well, but only when I'm hyper. Review!_


	3. Ghost

_A Halloween oneshot. Even though it's nowhere near Halloween._

Yugi sighed as he looked wearily in the mirror at his Halloween costume. Well, when I say costume, I mean a sheet with holes in it. It was the only costume that would fit over his hair. He pulled it on with yet another sigh, and walked down the stairs to where Yami sat in the kitchen, currently glaring at the soul-stealing TV. Yami didn't participate in Halloween, partly because Yugi had said no (candy + Yami = Not a happy Yugi), and partly because of a traumatising experience involving candy, Bakura, Marik, and a flame-thrower (it's best not to talk about it).

"Aibou." Yami turned his head to see what he had thought was his aibou coming down the stairs. Instead, however..."AAHHHH!" Yami let out a high-pitched scream and began to run around the kitchen. "Help! Ghost! I'm going to die! Help!" He eventually ran out of the house and down the street, where several people laughed at the terrified Yami. Inside the house, Yugi giggled and pulled off the sheet. Maybe this costume wasn't so bad after all...

_You know it would happen. Review!_


	4. Costumes

_Marik and Bakura are wreaking havoc in costumes. And guess who has to sort them out?_

It was just a normal day for most people in Domino city...unless you happened to spot two teenagers holding walkie-talkies and hiding in alleyways, even though they stood out like sore thumbs. One had shocking white hair and doe brown eyes, whilst the other had blond hair, tan skin, and enough gold to sink a ship.

"Unit Beta, I've spotted Targets One and Two. They are heading this way, over."

"Gotcha, Unit Alpha. See ya!" As Malik's reply came through, Ryou slid his walkie-talkie in his pocket. He checked the street again. Yep, sure enough, there were Marik and Bakura in their weirdest costumes yet. Marik had black cat ears perched on his head, just visible amongst his hair, and had a long black cat's tail coming from the top of his pants. Said tail also had a massive pink bow on it. He was running, cackling, away from Bakura, who had white rabbit ears, a small cotton-ball tail, a bloody knife in his hand and a murderous expression on his face.

"I'm here." A voice whispered in Ryou's ear. He didn't jump. Bakura had played that trick on him one too many times.

"Is everything set?"

"Yep."

"Then...we wait." The two hikaris hid in the shadows of their alley with no fear of gangs. They had all been scared/chased away by Bakura and Marik. Well, that or killed by said yamis.

Sure enough, the yamis ran into the alley, only to skid to a halt at the massive brick wall that hadn't been there the previous times they had run through that alley.

"Oh, yami!" A sickly sweet voice called out from behind Bakura. They both turned, only for Ryou to hit Bakura over the head with one of his school textbooks. He knew there was a reason they had to carry them everywhere. Marik started laughing loudly at Bakura fate, until he heard another voice.

"Hey yami!" He stopped laughing and paled. Angry Malik was worse than Angry Ishizu. A lot worse. He slowly turned round...only to be wacked on the head with Malik's book.

The hikaris surveyed the unconscious yamis.

"Mission complete."

_Heh heh. Go hikaris! As for the pink bow...I wanted it. *pouts* So there. Review!_


	5. Tick Tock

_**This keeps happening to me. I hate ticking clocks. Except I don't smash them.**_

Bakura sat by his desk, writing and re-writing his latest plans for world destruction. To work on these he needed absolute silence, something the Ring had been very good for. Now, however...

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

"Goddammit, shut up!" He glared around the empty room, and was met with only silence. He smirked to himself, and got back to his precious work. Now, what should he do if this happened...

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

"Uhh!" He pushed his wheeled chair away from his desk and stood up furiously, his eyes sweeping round the room, until they alighted an a small silver watch, it's hands going round, counting down the seconds to destruction.

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

"Ha! Found you!" And with a maniacal cry, he smashed the little watch, getting pieces of glass in his hand in the process. He lifted his hand up and pulled one of the pieces out. He observed it, as though curious as to how it was stained red, before stomping his way down stairs.

"Ryou, where are the bandages?"

"They're in the cupboard under the sink. Why do you...oh my! What did you do to your hand?"

"I smashed a watch." Ryou blinked at Bakura nonchalant reply.

"What? Why?"

"It kept freaking ticking at me!"

_**I heart the last line. It's one of my all time favourites. Poor 'Kura, always getting ticked at.*snicker***__** Review please!**_


	6. Tired

_I'm tired. So I wrote this. _

**THIS IS A LINE BREAK. FF WON'T LET ME HAVE A REAL LINE. **

Akefia yawned in his cave. He was surrounded by the best jewels you could steal; and had men and women throwing themselves at his feet. What more could a guy wish for? Well, right now, different parts of him wanted different things.

Part of him was saying:

"Steal more! You need more!"

Another part was saying:

"Revenge! You need to get revenge!"

Yet another part, this one very close to the previous part, said:

"Kill the Pharaoh, kill the priests, kill the people, kill everyone!"

Yet the part he listened to was the part that said:

"I'm tired. Sleep."

...Go figure.


End file.
